So there!

I plan to become the greatest Englishman since Churchill!

What can possibly go wrong?

peoples are very unkindly repeating what I said when Gordon Brown took over from Tony Blair as PM without an election:

“It’s the arrogance. It’s the contempt. That’s what gets me. It’s Gordon Brown’s apparent belief that he can just trample on the democratic will of the British people. It’s at moments like this that I think the political world has gone mad, and I am alone in detecting the gigantic fraud.

Look I wrote a clever column saying how if they could achieve a frictionless return to earth from the moon with a bit of the same spirit we could achieve a frictionless border in Ireland. Now everyone is being very rude, saying there was friction, it cost billions of dollars, thousands of people, 10 years etc etc to overcome it. Bah humbug!

So I had this splendid example at my hustings with an actual kipper as a prop. Explaining how the EU makes this kipper supplier put his products in ice when he doesn’t need to. Turns out it’s nothing to do with the EU. Plus he is in the Isle of Man which apparently isn’t actually in the EU. Oh dear. Still don’t expect anyone will notice!

Is being difficult. Voting to stop me going round them to effect a no deal. Can’t help thinking conning the Tory faithful is the easy bit …. tricky times ahead

I am not going to be out Brexited by Hunt so have committed to this policy. I have no idea what happens in practice on the border if we exit without a deal but who cares about Ireland anyway……

Yes it true – I have thrown our ambassador to the US under the bus. Can’t start my tenure as PM by falling out with Donald, even if what the ambassador said seems pretty mild to me. I wonder if he will send me chocolates?