My breezy Mail on Sunday article described our glorious leader’s plan as like wrapping the British constitution in a suicide vest. What is wrong with that?
That’s how the Irish EU Commissioner Phil Hogan has described yours truly, and Messrs Rees- Smug and slimy Farage. Bloody cheek!
He suggested to our glorious leader we should just be ignored. For good measure he added that the European commission president, Jean-Claude Juncker, had said the EU would not damage its “greatest achievement” of the internal market “just to save the UK from the consequences of its own silliness”.
About my divorce ( I have already heard the one that it’s because I fucked a whole country – thank you very much!)
Oh I am really hitting the headlines with a witty attack on our glorious leader’s latest attempts to a do a deal with Brussels:
“The whole thing is about as pre-ordained as a bout between Giant Haystacks and Big Daddy; and in this case, I am afraid, the inevitable outcome is a victory for the EU, with the UK lying flat on the canvas and 12 stars circling symbolically over our semi-conscious head.”
I also amusingly added that the UK had “gone into battle with the white flag fluttering over our leading tank”.
Of course some might say that characterising all this as a war or a wrestling match is a bit silly and rather unhepful but who cares. As I also wittily opined:-
“The UK has agreed to hand over £40bn of taxpayers’ money for two-thirds of diddly squat.”
Clever or what?
Now I am not in the Cabinet I am keeping my head down and not saying a thing.
I see our glorious leader has been doing a little dance in South Africa to celebrate a “new” trade deal. Would be a bit churlish of me to point out that it’s really just the same deal we already have with them under our EU trade arrangements. Mum’s the word!
What was offensive about that?
Honestly no one has a sense of humour any more!
The Electoral Commission says that Vote Leave committed criminal offences on spending and has reported them to the police. Nothing to do with me!