Official trip to Turkey – all went well. Fortunately they were polite enough not to mention the rather unfortunate limerick I wrote about their President. Told them we’d be delighted to help them join the EU – not sure why I said that – it was a message from Planet Boris that just came out – on reflection can’t see why anyone in the EU is going to be remotely interested in listening to us on this, especially when during Vote Leave we spent a lot of time saying very loudly that Turkey joining the EU was a VERY BAD THING.
Also said we’d aim for a “jumbo free trade” area with them. Got a bit of a wigging from my civil servants on that one when I got back. Apparently we’re already in a jumbo free trade area with them as they have a customs union with the EU, and when we leave they won’t be able to negotiate a separate one with us different from whatever the EU agrees with us. Who’d have thought this free trade business was so complicated! I thought it was just like a couple of schools agreeing they could use each others tuck shops. Never mind – Liam will crack it – onwards and upwards!
Oh and the limerick in case I forget:-
“There was a young fellow from Ankara, Who was a terrific wankerer. Till he sowed his wild oats, With the help of a goat, But he didn’t even stop to thankera.”