Well I have been keeping mum for a while as I see which way the wind is blowing. But it seems pretty clear Farage’s ghastly “Brexit party” is going to trounce us in the European Elections our glorious leader said would not happen. Our manifesto for them seems to be “vote conservative so these elections don’t happen”. Call me dim but I don’t think that makes much sense.

Anyway it’s clear our glorious leader’s days are numbered so I have today announced I will be the next leader ( or that I am standing for it, which hopefully amounts to the same thing). How hard can it b? Onward!