Whatever happened to dying in a ditch? Do I look a bit of a prat? Perhaps no one will remember?

I hate it! I can’t even just call an election, but have to beg to that Trot Corbyn who smells a rat. This is ridiculous!

Got my bill to a second reading – hooray

Then Parliament derailed my 3 day timetable

What to do now?

I have put my bill on hold because frankly I have no idea!

So I have got our ambassador to send a photocopy of the letter I am supposed to send asking for a Brexit extension, without me signing it. At the same time I have sent another letter which I have signed saying it’s not a good idea! How clever is Dominic! What do you mean I’ll find myself in court……

Bloody irritating!

I have chucked Northern Ireland in the bin. I have had enough of the Ulstermen and have done a deal with the EU with a border down the Irish Sea. Can’t keep everyone happy. Can I get it through Parliament without them …… who knows…..

Are being difficult…..

Still talking in Brussels though time is running out! I have been encouraging lots of upbeat waffle about how we are nearly there and it’s almost in the bag. Need to keep the mad Irishmen on side as well as all the loony brexiteeers! Is it true? Wait and see….

Ha. I have sweet talked the Irish and persuaded the EU to keep talking. We are into top secret “tunnel” negotiations so I cannot say more!

That’s all that was involved. I am not saying any more.